all_goodthings (all_goodthings) wrote in i_miss_xyou,
all_goodthings
all_goodthings
i_miss_xyou

Sometimes I just want to hate myself for what I do.
Or try to not get with people, because I don't want to be hurt.
But, it's life...



So anyways...I have no idea what i'm doing. I'm stupid. So see...There's this guy Nick that I have been talking to for well over a year now. I never felt anything befor tonight. He lives in California..I live in PA. Now, you can see where the problem is beginning. Well..I have had 2 relationships form in the past from the internet, and both ended poorly. After the second, I promised myself to do nothing more over the internet. And I can never find anyone where I live..it always happens on the internet. I don't get it. And why it has to be with someone who lives completely across the other side of the country. But anyways...and here is where another problem comes in...I have a boyfriend...we have only been going out since Saturday. I don't think this relationship will last long, due to the fact that I think he's stupid & dumb & can't stand him at times. But, I decided to give it a try because I have passed up chances on relationships since 6th grade. And I guess it's time I decided to let lose. But me & Nick had the greatest conversation today. I can't sit here and explain it all. But, I had never in my life has such an amazing conversation with such an amazing person. He is also very gorgeous, too. But anyways...it wasn't said that we like eachother. It sorta, kinda was. But, you can basically tell in the way our conversation was going. And he also said he wishes I lived where he does. I wish too. I am in love with California. And have been practically all my life. I have always wanted to live there. Just now that i'm older my passion is growing stronger. My plan is to go to college there, and live there. Which is why I don't want a relationship while i'm here. There is no point when i'm leaving in 4 years and not coming back unless to visit family. So, the fact that he lives in California is good. But, it sucks that it's 4 years from now til I can move there.
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