my grandfather died 4 years ago, 9 days after my 10th birthday. i was use to people dying at that age, my parents had had me later than most people and most of my family was over 50 by the time i was born. so when he died, it didnt really have that great an affect on me. at his funeral/memorial service, i tried to cry, i really did, but it wouldnt work. fast forward to about 5 months ago. i started thinking about my grandfather more and more. i would jsut b looking for something in a cabinet, and id stumble on pictures of him as a young man. or id have dreams about him. or id day dream memories that were long and forgotten. id look at another pictuer of him as a young man on the wall and start to notice similaries in our faces...ones that i had never noticed before. i feel like ive become obsessed with him. my dead grandfather. i search his obituary in the new york times everytime the 20th of the month rolls around. sometimes i completely blow of homework because i get distracted looking at baby pictures of me and him. i cant help it. i get so entranced in a world that i shared with him, a world that i took for granted, a world that was quickly snached away as soon as i began to understand it.
im hoping its okay that i share this story with you now.
we live in the same house my mother grew up in. she's lived in piermont all her life. my parents bought the house from my grandparents in 1992 when i was about 9 month old. my grandfather was extremely stubborn about leaving. my grandmother wanted to go live in a ranch house in coral gables, florida because they were both getting too old to handle the stairs. (there are 3 floors, and there are plenty of stairs outside cause the house is on a hill) my grandfather came over our house everyday when we lived in nyack. i was the youngest of 5 grandchildren, all who lived in different parts of the country. he pleaded with my grandmother to stay in piermont, but eventually he broke in. i recently learned that the real reason he didnt want to leave was because, he didnt want to leave me.
thats all. thanks for the time. -liz