I just copied and pasted this out of my journal.
I'm confused, a lot. It's just as if things aren't right anymore these days..to me..or to anyone.
It seems as if everyones going through something. Whatever's going on,I feel that it's heppening to me too. Around here, to me..it is so hard to find a good guy.They are usually jerks, or sex phenes. And they care about is making out & junk. I think it's gross. And I don't like it.
But then there's shane..oh boy shane. He lives in Cranberry, about an hour from me. He is so amazing. We went out last August-October. I still love him, a lot. I know I know, i'm only 14, what do I know about love? My feelings are strong for him. And I care about him a lot. He is so amazing. And I think about him constantly. We still haven't met in person, though. I don't know...I was talking to his friend Mark, and he also does have some good points. But, I just don't know..I kind of want to meet him in person befor we go out again. But, I also just want to be with him. Whether than means we can see eachother or not. Which matters most. Loving someone and not being with them? Or loving someone, and being with them..whether you can see them or no. I guess you can say that's a difficult choice. And yes, this is difficult for me. I'm 14, what the hell am I doing worrying about love? All I know is that I love him, and he says he loves me back. And it feels good to love someone, and being loved back. None of us seem to be doing anything about it, either. It's wierd..but I don't know. Sometimes..it feels as though we are together...by the way we talk at times. I don't worry about getting hurt. Shit happens in life, learn from it, and move on. That's the way I take it. I wish to not spend my time sad on something and/or someone. If anything, I will cry badly after it happens for a good 5-10 minutes. Then the next day, I might still be a little upset with it. Then the next day, it's almost gone. I just try to forget about it. I don't know how good or bad that is..is it good to forget things like that? Or could it be as if you don't care, therefor it's bad. I don't know...either way..I feel as if i'm screwed. I feel as if I'm following some type of trend here. People are writing in their journals lately on problems in their life & such, and things going wrong. But, it's happening to me..and i'm talking about it.
I just need some opinions on what to do, whether they are good or not. Please comment. I do NOT know what to do. I'm just so lost and confused. I wish I could find myself.